Dear Beautiful,
I love you dearly. You are the one that keeps my heart beating. When I see your face I cannot help but smile. I feel the corner of my lips being tugged no matter how much I dont want to. I love how you can make any day perfect and when I fall asleep at night, you are the one I am thinking of.
I hope life brings you everything you want. I hope you are happy and healthy. When times get bad, just remember this note to you that I wrote with sincere and endless love.

Forever yours,
Me

Today has been a good day.
I slept in until 11am with my honey and my favorite kitty by my side.
Now we're just sitting on the bed.
Him caring for his new tattoo and my cats claws tearing at the bed sheet.
Somehow this is peaceful.
It makes me smile.

Fact: I obsess about my weight.
Fact: I dont give a fuck if you dont like it.

Sometimes I sit and beat myself about how much I weigh. Other times I'll toss in the towel and eat a cup of noodles. But in the end, I cant look into a mirror and think "You have a decent bod."
Because no matter what that scale says, I know I dont look right. Something is always off, not right, out of place, so big, too small.

Fact: I weight 100 pounds. 99 on a good day.
Fact: I am almost 5'5.
Fact:That should mean I look thin
Fucking FACT: I look no where near it.

Cheers to all you girls that have the discipline to not eat. I salute you. I think you are beautiful even if everyone else thinks you look like a skeleton. I envy you. I believe eatting disorders are beautiful and attractive. Im drawn to them like cartoons to artists.

Now send me hate mail, I dont care. Because I dont know you and dont care about your opinion.

Its been very long since I last wrote anything.
I got back the 12th and since then have spent just about every moment running around with my love and hanging with friends. And always with a coffee of course.
Yesterday I got a snake. Its a creamsicle corn snake named Ko~Ji. He's about 8"in long and totally adorable. Actually, he's half mine, and half Jesses. He stays with Jesse.
Today I got my hair cut and colored. Its much different. I loves it.
Tomorrow is job hunting day. And when I get a job, Im going to buy a car <333

Yesterday was fun/bittersweet. I went to see Jesse and his family, I was kinda sad just because I was having a down day and because I dont know how much I can see him before Im gone.
Afterwards I drove to Bunnys for band practice, our new drummer never showed up so we drove to Office Depot to get glossy copies of our band poster. However, OD does not have glossy copies, so we went to Kinkos and got 7. Then we went to Something Sweet because we're both crazy girls and made friends with the girl working there.
Once we left we drove to Sunflower Market and then Target. I bought a shirt, sunglasses and a heart necklack and Bunny got a ton of different things.
Last we stopped at Safehouse and both the guys working were awesome. One guy, that I havent seen before reminded me of an old friend of mine. Bunny went on to beating the record for the most spins while having our head on a bat game. You know the one.

And then theres today. woke up at 7 and got ready, I left by 9:15 to get Bunny and then we came to my house and baked 80+ muffins. We piled all muffins into the car and drove to get Joseph and then to Compass. After leaving Compass we dropped off Joseph and went downtown. While downtown, Bunny took me to Delicatables and we ate, then went to some stores. Some guy said that I was "truely original" and that he was not bullshitting me. I guess thats a nice compliment. Then some girl took our picture for a school project in Photography. Once we had stopped in a few shops, we walked to Hydra and I bought a necklack. Bunny previously bought me a sticker and ring as a graduation gift. On our way to the car, I grabbed a shake and went into a thirft story we were previously in so that I could give the worker a hug. He said we were cute and that the hug made his day better. Awww.
Sorry this is sooo long. Not that I expect anyone to read all this, because I know no one will. By this point could say whatever I want and no one will ever know....ASzXjmhb
Anyways, we made two more stops. No three. Hancock fabric, puppy place and some tattoo place. Now im home. I just finished nathans birthday cake and we're going to dinner later.
Its his birthday today.